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- 2006_0310 ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 1 ---------- THE WESTERN .FRONTis WESTERN WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY An independent student newspaper serving the campus community since 1970. ,2006 ISSUE 17, VOLUME 136 Teaching dangerously Book claims Western professor excessively radical CHRIS
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2006_0310 ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 1 ---------- THE WESTERN .FRONTis WESTERN WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY An independent student newspaper serving the campus community since 1970. ,200
Show more2006_0310 ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 1 ---------- THE WESTERN .FRONTis WESTERN WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY An independent student newspaper serving the campus community since 1970. ,2006 ISSUE 17, VOLUME 136 Teaching dangerously Book claims Western professor excessively radical CHRIS HUBER/THE WESTERN FRONT Fairhaven College associate professor Larry Estrada currently ranks No. 3 on author David Horowitz's list of the 101 most dangerous professors in the United States. By MOLLY MALONEY The Western Front Western students could be enrolled in a class taught by one of the most dangerous professors in America, according to conservative commentator David Horowitz. Horowitz names Fairhaven College associate professor Larry J. Estrada as a danger in his book "The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America," released Feb. 13. With the help of online voting, Estrada said he could be No. 1 on the most dangerous list. Estrada, the American cultural studies program director at Western, said he has mixed feelings about Horowitz including him in the book. "At first I was startled, and then wondered who the other 100 professors were," Estrada said. "The truth is I could be in much worse company, with Noam Chomsky, Derrick Bell and Bettina Aptheker also making the list. I've felt bemusement, pride and anger. I felt like my accomplishments and words were distorted and mischaracterized by Horowitz." see LIST, page 5 Whatcom women welcome Morse to hall of fame BY MEGAN LUM The Western Front The Northwest Women's Hall of Fame will induct Western's first female president, Karen Morse, into its ranks of outstanding Whatcom County women on March 19. Morse, who became president of Western in 1993, said she knows two Western women whom the hall of fame inducted over the past eight years, including director of prevention and wellness services Pat Fabiano and athletic director Lynda Goodrich. "I go to the celebration every year because it's see SERVICE, page 4 Community may suddenly be city BY DERRICK PACHECO The Western Front The community of Sudden Valley is lobbying the Whatcom County Council to add the community to the Urban Growth Area list If Sudden Valley is on the list, residents could formally apply for city status under Washington state Law. The Whatcom County Council currently lists Sudden Valley as a recreation area. gt; The council removed Sudden Valley from the urban growth community list Feb. 28, after the council passed an emergency ordinance to thwart Sudden Valley's attempt at becoming incorporated and developing into a city, council chairwoman Laurie Caskey-Schreiber said. Sudden Valley, located 8 miles east of Bellingham, officially applied for city status on Feb. 24, and could petition for entry onto the November ballot, said Steve Grieser, Sudden Valley community association general manager. CHRIS JOSEPH TAYLOR / THE WESTERN FRONT The Sudden Valley community on the west side of Lake Whatcom is requesting to become a city. Future commercial and industrial development there may increase pollution in Bellingham's water reservoir. The council voted to remove Sudden Valley from the list to ensure the area around Lake Whatcom remains decongested by development. At the Feb. 28 meeting, the council was concerned that city near Lake Whatcom could damage the watershed. see DEVELOPMENT, page 4 UPFEST SUCCESS Local benefit concert festival raised $5,000 for Hurricane Katrina relief. ACCENT PAGE 9 LADIES LIFT OFF Western women's basketball team plays its first game of the regional tournament today. SPORT, PAGE 11 SHOW ME SOME SKIN Spring brings rain, flowers and women in skimpy clothing, much to men's chagrin. OPINIONS, PAGE 13 WEATHER Saturday: Cloudy Hi: 46 Low: 28 Sunday: Sunny Hi: 48 Low: 32 %J - www.westernfrontonline.com ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 2 ---------- ^ 2 •THE WESTERN FRONT NEWS MARCH 10,2006 Cops Box University Police March 9, 1:06 a.m.: UP performed a security check in the Ross Engineering and Technology Building. UP found the lock had been removed from the exterior door to the stairwell. March 8, 5:29 p.m.: UP | responded to a report of a bicycle theft in north campus. March 8, 11:22 a.m.: UP responded to a report of shoplifting in Miller Hall. The suspect fled on foot, and an area check produced no suspect. Bellingham Police March 9,8:50 a.m.: Officers responded to a report of a vehicle prowl on the 2500 block of Humboldt Street. March 8,10:01 a.m.: Officers responded to a report of a theft of license plates on the 2300 block of H Street. March 7,8:26 p.m.: Officers arrested a 42-year-old man for driving under the influence on the 1600 block of F Street. March 7,3:13 p.m.: Officers responded to a report of a rape on the 2900 block of Squalicum Parkway. Compiled by Michael Lycklama Mayor to delay greenway vote BYDANGROHL The Western Front In a 4-3 vote, the Bellingham City Council approved a greenway levy proposal Monday, which could allocate up to $43 million to Bellingham parks. However, the public is not likely to vote on the land protection measure in the upcoming special election in May, Bellingham Mayor Mark Asmundson said. Asmundson said he would veto any city council decision that does not have at least five members in favor of the proposal in the final council vote regarding the levy this Monday. Even ifhe didn't veto the levy, Bellingham voters would still be unlikely to pass the levy without the council's consensus, Asmundson said. He suggested the council work on the ordinance for the levy and decide on a final version in time for the Sept. 19 primary election. The council agreed with the mayor's suggestion, council president Gene Knutson said. "Greenway will not die if we don't put a package together today," Knutson said. "We need to do this right It is too important to just push though." The measure the council approved on Monday would allow the city to collect $43 million in taxes over 10 years, councilman John Watts said. - The council has the final say on any change in the distribution of the funds and is likely to use the $43 million for the acquisition, development, improvements and maintenance of greenways, parks and trails in Bellingham, Asmundson said. Monday's vote is the last opportunity for the council to put the land protection measure-on the May 16 ballot for voters. If the council does not pass the measure in the final vote, the next chance for a public vote is in the September election. Council member Barbara Ryan said Chuckanut Ridge needs to be one of the council's priorities if the council wants the levy to pass on the ballot. MAP COURTESY OF THE CITY OF BELLINGHAM Purchasing land on Chuckanut Ridge is one of the proposed ways to spend money generated by a greenway levy. Supporters say purchasing land on Chuckanut Ridge would protect it from Bellingham's future growth, such as the proposed Fairhaven Highlands, an 85-acre, 739 home development Fairhaven Highlands is marked by the shaded area along Chuckanut Drive. Chuckanut Ridge is an 85-acre property south of Fairhaven District, which could hold up to 739 housing units if it were to be fully developed. "We all agree Chuckanut Ridge should be in there," Knutson said. "The question is for how much. That's the bottom line." Council members Terry Bomemann, Ryan and Knutson voted against the levy on Monday. WWU Official Announcements PLEASE POST The Western Front is published twice weekly in fall, winter and spring; once a week in summer session. Address: The Western Front, Western Washington University, CF 251, Bellingham, WA 98225. The Western Front is the official newspaper of Western Washington University, published by the Student Publications Council, and is mainly supported by advertising. Opinions and stories in the newspaper have no connection with advertising. News content is determined by student editors. Staff reporters are enrolled in a course in the Department of Journalism, but any student enrolled at Western may offer stories to the editors. Advertising inquiries should be directed to the business office in CF 230, or by phone to (360) 650-3161. Members of the Western community are entitled to a single free copy of each issue of The Western Front. THE MATH PLACEMENT TEST will be in OM 120 at 9 a.m. March 16 and 3 p.m. March 13. Registration is not required. Students must bring photo identification, their student number, Social Security number and a No. 2 pencil. A $15 fee is payable in exact amount at test time. Allow 90 minutes. LOT RESERVATIONS. • Lots 11G and 14G will be reserved at 5 p.m. March 10-11 for those attending performances of Evita; • Eighteen spaces will be reserved in lot 10G at 2 p.m. March 10 and 7 a.m. March 11 for those attending a Westerm Washington University Foundation board ofdirectors retreat; • Lot 14C will be reserved at 7 a.m. March 11 for those attending the Northwest Regional History Conference. COMMENCEMENT.LOT RESERVATIONS. The following lots will be reserved at 7 a.m. March 18 for commencement parking: 8C for the president's party; 10G for elderly, disabled and Media Services staff; 14G for faculty and staff. A shuttle will run from lots 12A and 12C beginning at 8:30 a.m. MILLER ANALOGIES TEST (MAT). The computer-based Miller Analogies Test is by appointment only. Make an appointment in person in OM 120 or call X/3080. A $60 fee is payable at test time. Testing takes about 1 V* hours. Preliminary scores will be available immediately; official results are mailed within 15 days. WEST-B TEST. Everyone applying for admission to state-approved teacher education programs must meet the minimum passing score on the basic skills assessment by the application deadline. For a study guide and to register, visit www.west.nesinc.com. Remaining test dates through July are May 13 and July 15. Registration deadlines are several weeks in advance. WEST-E PRAXIS. Washington requires individuals seeking teacher certification and teachers seeking additional endorsements to pass the WEST-E (PRAXIS) in the chosen endorsement area, visit www.ets.org/praxis/prxwa.html for description and online registration information, or obtain a registration bulletin in MH 216. Remaining academic-year test dates year are March 4 and April 29. TO LEARN IF WESTERN IS CLOSED DURING STORMY WEATHER, call 650-6500 after 6:30 a.m. or tune to KGMI (790 AM), KBAI (930 AM), KPUG (1170 AM), KUGS (89.3 FM), KISM (92.9 FM), KAF£ (104.3 FM) or KWPZ (106.5 FM). Broadcasts about whether Western is open or closed will begin between 6:15 and 6:30 a.m. WINTER 2006 GROUP OFFERINGS. • Relaxation Training, Mondays, 11 a.m. to noon, and Thursdays, 4 to 5 p.m., OM 540—both days cover the same content; drop-in for one or all sessions; • Also offered are "Ride the Emotional Wave," "Assertiveness and Social Skills," and "Women's Support Group." For information or to register, call X/3164 or stop by OM 540. FACULTY ARE REMINDED THAT RESERVED PARKING SPACES are available for their use after hours and weekends with a valid parking permit or bus pass, as posted in lots 10G, 17G and the Parks Hall lot FOR WINTER CAMPUS RECRUITING OPPORTUNITIES, see www.careers.wwu.edu, stop by OM 280, or call X/3240. ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 3 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 THE WESTERN FRONT • 3 NOW PAYING 60% FOR BOOKS NEEDED FOR SPRING 111 ARTER! Buyback Dates March 8th - 18th Some examples of the great prices we are offering Stevens - WWU English 101 Reader (Magazine and Reader) Barnett - Calculus (MATH 157) Comer - Abnormal Psychology (PSY 250) Fromkin - Intro to Language (LING 204) North Car. - Precalculus (MATH 114) WESTERN ASSOCIATED STUDENTS Open Men - Fri 8:00am - 5:00pm andMost Saturdays from ILOOam-3:00pm ^ limited quantities of some titles meded WWW.bookstOre.WWU.edu ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 4 ---------- 4 • THE WESTERN FRONT NEWS MARCH 10,2006 Service: Colleagues say Western's first woman president earned respect for university CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 just marvelous what some of these women have done and how they've contributed to the community," Morse said. The hall of fame is the Bellingham YWCAV project. Thirteen Bellingham women organize the project, said Jo JARED YOAKUM / THE WESTERN FRONT Western President Karen Morse will join two other Western women in the Northwest Women Hall of Fame March 19. Collmge, hall of fame committee member. "Western is vital to the community, so she is a community leader as well as the leader of the university," said Collinge, former assistant director of university communications. Before coming to Western, Morse worked at Utah State University as a chemistry professor, the head of the chemistry and biochemistry department and dean of the college of science. The university appointed her Utah's provost in 1989. "I've been very fortunate because whatever I've done I've enjoyed, whether it was being a faculty member or doing some administrative work, working with faculty and for faculty," Morse said. "I understand what (the faculty) are doing, and I know the challenges that they have. I'm trying to work for them in order to make their environment better and their professional experience better." Candidates must serve as a role model for women to qualify for a nomination for the hall of fame, Collinge said. "She is an example of how the role of women has changed in the second half of the 20th century," she said. "Especially for women in the roles that were once considered to be men's domains." Morse received her doctorate in chemistry from the University of Michigan in 1967, when universities gave 10 to 20 percent of their doctorates to women, Collinge said. Now almost half of students who receive doctorates throughout the country are women, she said. "Women weren't always deans and weren't always heads of departments," Collinge said. "For those of us who lived through that time, the difference between the second half of the 20th century and now is striking." Since fall 2005, Morse has focused on improving Western's international programs. "Certainly we have some wonderful things that are going on with international programs at the university, but there needs to be some leadership there, some cohesion, and we're starting to do that," she said. Morse is a strong and caring leader, said Paul Cocke, interim director for university communications. "It's no accident that (Morse's work at Western) has coincided with a pretty significant increase in the respect and reputation of Western," Cocke said. Morse's nomination for the hall of fame shows the university's attachment and dedication to the community and a commitment to higher education, Morse said. "It's a good thing for the university, just like any time a faculty member or a staffmember or a student is recognized," Morse said. "It reflects well on the university." This is the eighth annual induction. The hall of fame has inducted 25 women in the past seven years, Colligne said. Development: Sudden Valley petitioning county council to join urban growth area list CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 If the Sudden Valley community became a city, it would be difficult to restrict further development and keep the population and traffic around the lake. Lake Whatcom provides drinking water and recreation to more than 86,000 county residents, Caskey-Schreiber said. "We are working hard to decrease congestion around Lake Whatcom," Caskey- Schreiber said. "The only way a city can survive is with growth, and that could be detrimental to Lake Whatcom." Some of Sudden Valley's population is pushing for incorporation while others are not, Grieser said. He said the residents of Sudden Valley petitioning to become a city are interested in havmg their tax dollars directly affect their community. The Sudden Valley community does not have the economic support to become a city, Bellingham Mayor Mark Asmundson said. "Sudden Valley does not have the tax base to support municipal services," Asmundson said. "It would be a mistake to pursue incorporation." The residents opposed are adamant about remaining a recreation community, said Grieser, who is not a member of the residential group pursuing incorporation. "I work for the community association," he said. "This is a private group of citizens applying for incorporation. The community association is not instigating this." Grieser said the private group is collecting residents' signatures to petition adding Sudden Valley's proposition on the next ballot Nov. 7. "Private citizens are pursuing incorporation," Grieser said. "Ultimately, public citizens will have to vote on this issue." The council is concerned with protecting the area surrounding Lake Whatcom to preserve the environment Caskey-Schreiber said. jji some men just need a little push. PG43 PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED*** Sane Material May Be ^appropriate for ( M l rw Under 13 SEXUAL CONTENT. PARTIAL NUDITY LANGUAGE For rating reaaonB, go to www.fllmratlrigt.com FaiiureTdtaunchMovie.com wW: 8 CopyT^hte gt;2a*tyP«mountWrti!r»* ASft^RsMntttl. A V U I M «•«»»* in theatres everywhere march-10 WESTERN FRONT CLASSIFIEDS SELL! 650-3161 HOUSES FOR RENT •Clean •Quality 'Close to WWU 3,4 5 bedrooms View homes at www.eberialpropertyfentals.com •2bdrm •3brdm •4brdm •5brdm Call: Erica: 360.941.4105 Bonnie: 360.319.1375 David: 360.319.0898 ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 5 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 NEWS THE WESTERN FRONT * 5 List: Students deny Horowitz claims that Estrada is a danger or threat to the university CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 He thinks he came to Horowitz's attention because he defended University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill's freedom of speech. Churchill said some employees in the World Trade Center antagonized the Sept. 11 terror attacks, Estrada said. In an essay Churchill wrote, he said companies that benefited from U.S. policies that caused thousands of Iraqi children's deaths after the Gulf War brought the attacks on the United States, Estrada said. Estrada said he never condoned Churchill's opinion about Sept. 11. "The inference by Horowitz that I agree with his analogy is totally fallacious," Estrada said. "My comments to press, mostly in Colorado, have always been that I support his academic freedom and his right to speak out on the nature and causes for 9/11." Horowitz wrote a chapter in the book on each professor to discredit their efforts to introduce fresh viewpoints into the academic world, Estrada said. Horowitz wants to encourage an extreme far right ideology on American college campuses, Estrada said. "He wants auditing of every syllabus, every concept taught, and monitoring of university classrooms in terms of concepts and theories employed," Estrada said. "This is why he has attempted to introduce the Academic Bill of Rights in various states at the national level. This type of control runs counter to both liberal and conservative thinking and effectively changes the entire nature of the university." • ' Junior Josefina Magana, a sociology and Spanish major, said she went to Mexico with Estrada last summer for his six- week class, Contemporary Culture of Mexico. "He is very encouraging, especially for me being of Hispanic origin," she said. "I truly believe it's a mistake that he was named in this book. This guy doesn't know much about Larry. From my experience, he never wants to put political ideas upon students." In his book, Horowitz's claims Estrada is a radical separatist because ofhis work as an adviser for MEChA, or the Chicano Student Movement of Aztlan, Estrada said. Students from the University of California, Santa Barbara established MEChA in the late 1960s as a campus organization to help "They believe their is political bias on campus. And the way Horowitz is going about it is very reminiscent of the way Joseph McCarthy went about things.'. BILL LYNE Western English professor Latino students earn their degrees. It's a support system for students and maintains a connection between education and community development, said Western senior Sierra Schraff-Thomas, Estrada's teaching assistant and MEChA internal affairs officer ' at Western. Aztlan represents the struggle for respect and equality for Mexicanos and Chicanos, who have an indigenous presence in the southwest because it's the Aztec's ancestral home, Estrada said. "I've never advocated secession," he said. "Certain right-wing ideologues accuse people of that, because if you're a member of MEChA, then they distort the concept of Aztlan. MEChA doesn't advocate secession. It's disinformation to state that." Schraff-Thomas said Horowitz fabricated some of his facts. "To my knowledge, Larry has never advocated for succession of the American Southwest so that it may be returned to Mexico or the creation of an independent Hispanic state, nor does MEChA advocate these things," she said. "If this were the case, I don't believe that he would be so supportive of me, a white student." Western English professor Bill Lyne, faculty senate president, said he doesn't think the book will affect Estrada's good standing. "If anything, we're all kind of proud of him," he said. "That list is full of distinguished scholars from around the world. I think the book is dumb. It's full of lies and rumors." Lyne said Horowitz's book isn't what worries him, but that Horowitz and his well-funded colleagues are attempting to pass legislature across the country to monitor professors and their teaching. "They believe there is political bias on campus," Lyne said. "And the way Horowitz is going about it is very reminiscent of the way Joseph McCarthy went about things." Horowitz posted a poll for the most dangerous professor on his FrontPage Online Magazine, Estrada said. Estrada is No. 3 on the list. "I think I can be number one," Estrada said. "Everyone just needs to vote. I will owe it all to students, colleagues, and the general public for boosting me closer to the No. 1 spot" David Horowitz did not return an e-mail request for an interview. Check out these NEW Independent Learning Courses! Do you need flexible class times? Earn credit by taking an online or correspondence course! It's easy to find out more: • Pick up a Continuing and Independent Learning catalog in Old Main, first floor next to the elevator • Visit our offices on the second floor at 405 32nd Street with free visitor parking or take the free campus shuttle • Check out our Web site Extension tuition rates apply! Choosv Wisely, Choose Western WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY Failed, failed, failed, iyttdthen... RSISTENC Pass It On. THE fOUHOMIOK UM.IHTtl llfl www.fotbetterlife.org ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 6 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 NEWS THE WESTERN FRONT • 6 "Mom and Pop places are what give a town real diversity. Without them everywhere looks the same." David Kowalsky, Sustainable Bellingham volunteer coordinator Alumna's film promotes small-town businesses BY SHANNON DEVENY The Western Front Without using any interstate highways or supporting any corporately-owned stores, two former NBC journalists, one a Western graduate, drove across the country using only secondary highways and spending money in independently-owned businesses. Western alumna of 1993, Heather Hughes, 35, and her husband, Hanson Hosein, 36, filmed "Independent America: The Two Lane Search for Mom and Pop" in May 2005 and documented their journey along the two-laned roads of the United States. Sustainable Bellingham, an organization that supports local business Bellingham, and Fair Trade Crafts, a store that sells fair-trade products, will show the film at 7 p.m. Sunday at the Bellingham Public Market on Cornwall Avenue. Hughes and Hosein heard reports of small-town business owners and community members saying they did not want to see another Starbucks or Wal-Mart built in their town, Hughes said. The increase in the number of reports in 2003 surrounding this issue sparked the couple's interest and inspired them to make the film, she said. The film depicts independent-business owners' determination to re-assert themselves in the American economy that large corporations, such as Wal-Mart, dominate, said Allison Weeks-Ewoldt, Sustainable Bellingham co-founder. "We get a glimpse of the promising remnants of community commerce that are waiting to grow and thrive again as the multinational corporations that have transformed our nation into 'Anywhere, USA' crush under the weight of their own greed," Weeks-Ewoldt said. Hughes and Hosein visited businesses such as coffee houses, bookstores and hardware stores under financial pressure from corporate chains such as Wal-Mart, Borders and Starbucks, Hughes said. The film documents the experiences and opinions of local business owners who want to maintain and profit from their small businesses in towns throughout the United States, said Lynnette Allen, Sustainable Bellingham member. By showing film viewers business owners and the towns they live and work in, the film shows the importance buying local goods and services has on economies in cities such as Bellingham, by keeping money in circulation locally, Allen said. "It is important to have a financially prosperous local economy where we are not dependent on corporations that are based in other places because it helps us to be self-sufficient," said David Kowalsky, Sustainable Bellingham volunteer coordinator. Sustainable Bellingham wants the film PHOTO COURTESY OF HEATHER HUGHES Former NBC journalists Heather Hughes and Hanson Hosein stand in front of the original Wal-Mart in Rogers, Ark., after interviewing Wal-Mart executives in June 2005. to challenge viewers to look critically at how and where they spend their money, Kowalsky said. "Mom and Pop places are what give a town real diversity," Kowalsky said. "Without them, everywhere looks the same." Buying locally is important because money put into a local economy multiplies faster when it stays within community commerce, Hughes said. When someone buys books at Village Books, the owner of the store then uses the money to employ local advertising agencies and many others, which spreads the money around enriching a large portion of the community, she said. "If we don't support local businesses, they won't be there," Hughes said. • gt; UNIVERSITY HEIGHTS 4BEDR00M/2BATH DORM STYLE APARTMHTS OWHPSIVIinBB/SHUEUWmil RENT INCUDES: ' ALL UTILITIES /CABLE ^ HIGH SPEED INTERNET iHHOTiHiinKtpiiMfiiiiipirBiqiEiiiBnnnti . ONSm/BESIDENTHJUUfiER • $340/MTH - VISIT US AT www.painlessproperties.com OR CALL 360734-5374 • © O Skagit Valley TMrcre Learning ^ » Q " C f l C Comes to Life www.skaqit.edu Cheek out your Distance Education course options at SVC WWU's partner Can't fit GUR classes into your schedule? Skagit Valley College SVC offers affordable, transferable GUR courses like Psychology, English, History, and Math through Distance Education or on-campus. Open Enrollment is going on now through the first week of Spring Quarter. Classes begin on Tuesday, March 28. Register now for the best selection! Lots of online options! Apply Register @ www.skagit.edu sva») AND ...Tune in and stay connected-with us. Dial in our SVC Podcast for registration information and how to get started. FOR INFORMATION: Distance Education: (360) 416-7770 Counseling: (360) 416-7654 Toll free: 1-877- 385-5360 www.skagit.edu Skagit Valley College is an equal opportunity employer and provides a drug- free environment We are committed to providing a workplace in which all individuals can achieve success in a climate of equality and to enhancing the diversity of our faculty, staff, and students. AA/EOE. ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 7 ---------- FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 2006 • WESTERNFRONTONLINE.COM • PAGE 7 Are Your BRAKES making noise? We have a FREE brake inspection that you should get every 30,000 miles. 1 0 % discount with Student ID Ja4aJ LOCALLY OWNED OPERATED Prime Tune Brakes in Sunset Square 671-2277 f R t t - sHuv 89.3 FM Find out more about distance learning! Continuing and Independent Learning staff can help you. • Visit our offices on the second floor at 405 32nd Street • Take advantage of free visitor parking • Try the free shuttle service to/from main campus • Check out the Parking Services Web site for shuttle details: www.ps.wwu.edu/parking/ Call or visit us online for more information! 1 WESTERN Choose Wisely, Choose Western Cfa« Schedule Available KMWHarrte Aye, B'ham ICTON UNIVERSITY SH# MBWIMMl HftCMMNSM lUC €HPMHHU Yoet'v* M m d it. Why not efadn I ff if you're working hard just to make ends meet and nave one or mom children living with you, you may qualify lor the S IC Think of it as a reward for doing one of Hfe's most beautiful, most important and most k»vir»g Jobs. Visit our web site or ask your lax preparer if you quality. A message from the internal Revenue Service, WWVKJHMWV T*surtiftillmiM$«rttc« wtrtJiftsiitssrvKtfinrt ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 8 ---------- 8 • THE WESTERN FRONT ACCENT MARCH 10,2006 at the museum's Arco Exhibits building oh ^,'M^^i^^^p^ gt;^ad--; Pfospebt Street. -y: .:C;.:;^:^^ Scott ' Wallin,^ A ^ j||ggi| of exhibitions and exhibit curator,' exhibit ntimhiis '§^^^^0^a^^i^^^^ ^pided On the theme becauses of the; inihe i n ^ ^ igtion of php^ leS. ^ '•' .•^•':rj-\ •M^T-:'-:: lt;-yi^^^m^ suprbf photographers v:.:-^ffit^^^^p seen in one exhibit'••Jd^^m^^eim^ mm mtyi ^ears, s ^ m ^ ^ H S ^M BflHI m l l ^ l H '•• ff^^l - '1I1SI I^B - ^Wftnrnr 1-#^'M'^A^1Slg?^^| saaasessgaga iam we m iyei£ it 10 inches long iMIl are small, mi- W^§f^. ItRtftL ^ S^Sf mmW. mfim^ f|b S4$ ;v|aii|i^n*f |"§tj|kj^:Sl ^moi£:ih^ oftenuses photoj - ipieces focus on con! lightning, logs and trei •; digitally remasters " T h e message is whatevl receives," Zervas said. "A 161 do is based on landscape and ed people's association with it. Gro |in the Northwest, you seem to get a.J jfsense of place, maybe more so than peo] pn other parts of me country Film photographer Kai Yamada of Ipeattie shot a series of 11 crisp, black and py^eBellingham nighttime photos, in in| fplaces such as City Hall and the former Georgia-Pacific site. persj :^:".;- n^d; gt;\Bellihgham;.'..'-tb be very mayni | comforteble,'' he said."In contrast to big ' lt;Thi| cities where you have to be concerned for for art si safety, it's very open and made me feel Western, ^ r y relaxed." matters and Yamada said he likes nighttime you're interj Pliotbgraphy, which allows him to capture not," Wal inanimate scenes without people, comi^^fci He said that people distract viewers' and bes ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 9 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 ACCENT THE WESTERN FRONT • 9 Bellingham resident Tim Lindskoog watches Daydreamer play on the main stage at Christ The King Church. Hurricane Katritia victims benefit from local concert *~ lt; PHOTOS BY CHRIS HUBER/THE WESTERN FRONT This year's Upfest concert raised close to $5,000 in proceeds that the Christ The King Com-munit^ Sgfeirrch stafiVwill donate to Habitat for Huniamtyfand Samaritan's !Pi|reiSjin Louisiana, Mississippi and Florida. - U-Christ The King held the Upfest benefit concert on the evening of March 3, an annual festival since2000. Approximately 1,000 people attended this year's event, said Upfest organizer, Christ The King Community Church associate pastor and 1995 Western alumna Derek Archer. The Upfest staff will also travel to Louisiana, Mississippi and Florida from March 19 to 25 to help the nonprofit organizations with relief work, he said. The staff will collaborate with Samaritan's Purse to assist Hurricane Katrina victims without shelter, Archer said. Thirteen bands performed on the church's.three stages: Anchordown, Autumn Poetry, Broken Image, Barcelona, Daydreamer, Half Blind; Idlefill, In Praise of Folly, John Van Deusen and the Lonely Forest, Lucky for Nothing, The Pale Pacific and Concertgoers packed the main stage auditorium at Christ The King Information compiled by Josh Weaver C h u r e h M a r c h 3 r d d u r i n g S o m e b y S e a » s performance. The Pale Pacific closed out the evening, performing on the main stage. In front of the largest crowd of the evening, lead singer Gabe Archer stood on his chair as he played the keyboard. Bright, dramatic lighting played an integral role in the Daydreamer keyboardists' performance at Upfest. ' * ** ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 10 ---------- FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 2006 • WESTERNFRGNTONLINE.CQM • PAGE 10 Poor putting, rain drowns Vikings BY DEVIN SMART The Western Front The Vikings needed a strong back nine to catch the University of Oregon Tuesday, but Mother Nature and poor putting kept Western from making a comeback. The Western men's golfers finished third because they couldn't overcome an eight shot Oregon lead starting the final round of the Washington National Intercollegiate Golf Tournament at Washington National Golf Course in Auburn. Wet weather and wind hounded the golfers during the first two rounds of the tournament Monday, but for the first nine holes Tuesday the weather cleared up. However, heavy rain returned around 11 a.m., when, the Vikings were making the turn onto the difficult back nine, and didn't relent for ft^^^^^^^^ DEVIN SMART / THE WESTERN FRONT Western sophomore golfer Sean Packer tees off on the 14th hole Tuesday at the Washington National Intercollegiate Golf Tournament. nearly an hour. Western senior co-captain Luke Bennett, who was on-par through nine holes but finished with a seven-over-par 79, said the weather was only part of the problem on the back nine. "I just couldn't find a groove," Bennett said, whose score of 79 dropped him from a tie for ninth into a tie for fifteenth individually. "The weather wasn't the best, but I never felt comfortable. I'd miss a putt here, hit.a bad shot there. I wasn't putting myself in a spot to score." Senior co-captain Tim Feenstra shot a three-over par-75 during his final round and finished tied for fourth individually. Feenstra said he was pleased with his golf swing, but could not finish bis putts. "I nit the ball really well, and I didn't make one birdie out there," he said. "I just didn't make a putt. I didn't make one putt over four feet—it's hard to score when you do that." Sophomore Sean Packer rounded out the Vikings top finishers, placing seventh after a final round 75. The tournament won't affect the Vikings West Regional ranking, but it was an opportunity to match up against NCAA division L golfers. The varsity squads from Washington State University and the University of Idaho competed, while the junior varsity teams from the University see LINKS, page 11 it pays to advertise in the Western Front Eats flies. Dates a pig. Hollywood star. LIVE YOUR DREAMS Pass It On. THI FOUHOff 10N I4i A ||TTIR HFl ''.*:' wTvw.forberterlife.org - ' DEVIN SMART / THE WESTERN FRONT Western senior golfer and co-captain Luke Bennett tees off on the 15th hole Tuesday. Complete a GUR at Home! Discover the flexibility of distance learning ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 11 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 SPORTS THE WESTERN FRONT • 11 Links: Western men's golf team struggles in second round of spring tournament CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10 of Washington and Oregon played as well. Feenstra said the difference between golfers at the Division I and the Division II levels is slim. "College golf is a pretty level playing field," Feenstra said. "Division I is probably a little better than Division II, but we play against a lot of top-Division II schools, and the level of play out here is pretty much the same." The tournament marked the second event for the Vikings since the spring portion of their season began. The Vikings finished third at the Cal State Bakersfield Invitational Feb. 28. Before the spring portion of the season began, Western head coach Steve Card said while he has three of the top - Division II golfers in Feenstra, Bennett and Packer, he was still looking for consistent play from the No. 4 and No. 5 spots on the team. After two events, Card said junior Sam Pauley, who shot a Vikings best 74 during the final round Tuesday, secured the No. 4 position, but No. 5 is still undecided. "Sam has really stepped up and established himself as the No. 4 player on the team," Card said. "I think the top-three guys show a lot of confidence in him." The Vikings next tournament will be the California State University Monterey Bay Invitational, played March 20 and 21. Women compete in regionals BY DERRICK PACHECO The Western Front Home is where the court is for the top-seeded Western women's basketball team as the Vikings host the regional championship starting today. The team has won 20 games in a row this season, including 13 straight wins at home, on its way to a 26-1 record. The Vikings earned a No. 4 national ranking for Division II women's basketball, and the No. 1 seed for this weekend's West Regional Tournament held in Carver Gym today, Saturday and Monday. The Western women are making their eighth consecutive appearance in the regional tournament, but this is the first year the Vikings earned the opportunity to host the event. "I have had at least 1,000 people asking me about the men's and women's regional tournament this week," Western director of athletics Lynda Goodrich said. The quarterfinals start at 12:30 p.m. today, the semifinals start at 5 p.m. on Saturday and the championship game is on Monday at 7 p.m. "This is just great to play at home," women's head coach Carmen Dolfo said. "We have had an unbelievable year and hope to reach the (national) Elite Eight." Both the women's and men's basketball teams qualified for the Regional Tournaments. The men earned the No. 2 seed with a 21-6 record, and will play at Seattle Pacific University this weekend. "You can't get much better than this," Goodrich said. "When people think about D-II basketball in the Northwest, they'll think of Western." Women's West Regional Tournament Today Game 1: Cal State Bakersfield (3) vs. Cal State Los Angeles (6), 12:30 p.m. Game 2: Chico State (2) vs. Humboldt State (7), 2:30 p.m- Game 3: UC San Diego (4) vs. Seattle Pacific (5), 5:30 p.m. Game 4: Western Washington (1) vs. Northwest Nazarene (8), 7:30 p.m. Saturday Game 5: Winner of game 1 vs. winner of game 2, 5 p.m. Game 6: Winner of game 3 vs. winner of game 4, 7 p.m. Monday Championship game: Winner of game 5 vs. winner of game 6, 7 p.m. All games will take place in Carver Gym. Your new DVD could be someone's l i fe StOIV, GET A $ 0 BONUS First Time Donors Present this coupon on your first visit ' Donate plasma Advertise in the Western Front 650-3161 a month and give life to patients in need, 360-756-1700 465 Stuart BeHlngham, WA 98226 Call for an appointment today. www.biolifeplasma.com ---------- Western Front - 2006 March 10 - page 12 ---------- 12 • THE WESTERN FRONT SPORTS MARCH 10,2006 Springi quartersportscolumnistpreview Overweight pros pummel average Joes BY ANDREW SLEIGHTER Mark it zero Monday night I watched the premiere of Spike TV's "Pros vs. Joes." Besides displaying terrible programming, this specific brand of sports reality television misses the point entirely. The point is, I want to see sports stars brought down, not watch their exaggerated egos. "Pros vs. Joes" starts with a promising premise. Three average people dubbed 'Joes,' contestants on the show, challenge a handful of retired athletes in athletic contests. Monday's episode included wide receiver Jerry Rice, professional wrestler Bill Goldberg, basketball player Dennis Rodman, former Chicago Bears quarterback Mike MeMahon and baseball slugger Matt Williams. The show grants the Joes an opportunity to fulfill lifelong fantasies, such as going one-on-one with a professional athlete and winning $20,000. Or, as Rodman likes to call his annual salary for playing in the ABA in addition to what he gets every time "Double Team" airs on HBO. During the show, the Joes competed in impossible tasks such as covering Rice while he caught passes from MeMahon. One Joe did succeed once in knocking a pass away only because of a miserable throw by MeMahon. Another challenge pitted a Joe in a wrestling match versus Goldberg. Nobody succeedes against Goldberg. In a bizarre shooting contest against rebounding extraordinaire Dennis Rodman, the Joes stood on a conveyor belt moving away from the hoop and had to run while shooting baskets. Each Joe took their turn to beat Rodman's score for the most baskets made in two minutes. Despite this obvious move to make Rodman look better in a shooting contest, one excited Joe still outscored Rodman. That was the best moment of the show. I don't watch bad reality shows to see average people humiliated. I want to see bloated, average fans disgrace overpaid former athletes. It doesn't happen when a 165-pound guy wrestles Goldberg's weight. To the show's credit, it included a golfing competition as a neutral battleground. As I was watching I thought to myself, "Finally, I get to see these pros fail." But then it occurred to me, nobody plays golf more than retired athletes. With all the charity benefits, disposable income and tremendous free time, playing golf is the destiny of retired athletes. This doesn't say much for golf, and it explains the Senior Tour. Players on the PGA Tour don't get as many holes in as Matt Williams does. The pros destroyed the Joes in golfing worse than in any other event, and Spike TV expects us to find this amusing. I admit, I found myself mildly entertained by Rodman outrebounding players 12 inches shorter than him and Matt Williams lining shots at these poor guys while they tried to play third base, but it grew obnoxious. The pros running their mouths the whole time was even more annoying. Rice used an expletive in reference toward the Joes. How do you get pumped up to prevent someone who is poorer, uglier and not as talented from winning some money? At the end of the day, the pros are still rich, enjoy an inflated status in society and fans adore them. The trash talking is unsolicited. The athletes on the show act as if fans don't understand how talented they are. As fans we know we're not better receivers than Rice, but some out there think they can catch better than former Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Koren Robinson. Nobody says to themselves, "I could have grabbed that rebound," when watching Rodman miss a board. We say that when we're watching Seattle Sonic's center Robert Swift. We do say when watching Rodman, "I bet I wouldn't have kicked that cameraman in the nuts," but that's a different issue. These are the events I want to see. I want to see Joes versus Swift in the bench press. I want to see Shaquille O'Neal struggling in a free throw shooting contest, Pete Rose versus the roulette wheel and maybe some sort of Joe versus Ron Artest freestyle rap battle. Let's see John Daly huffing it in a 40-yard dash. Fans possess the reasonable expectation that professional athletes are superior in every facet of athleticism than an average fan. And if we suspect that this isn't the case, "Pros vs. Joes" should answer the question. Is Edgar Martinez slower than your grandmother? We could ultimately find out. Of course the athletes destroy the Joes when they're a legend of the sport or an event they specialize in. And that's funny, but it gets old. If we learned anything from "Celebrity Boxing," it's that Tonya Harding is mean. But we also learned that if they're going to sell out, they should look stupid. Now some may say Rice paid his dues with "Dancing With the Stars," but nevertheless, these athletes clearly sold out. Please, if nothing else, make them look stupid. E-mail Andrew Sleighter at markitzerol2@yahoo.com SHE SAYS she wants to keep living in her home. WE SAY'it starts by keeping her on her feet Each year, one out of every three, older people falls, often resulting in hip fractures — a severe injury in this age group.. For helpful tips on how exercise and home environment adjustments can reduce the risk of falls, visit aaos.org. AMERICAN ACADEMY OF ORTHOPAEDIC SURGEONS The most moving advances in medicine. 1-800-824-BONES www.aaos.org If! the Co-op Espresso lt; Organic Juice Bar 1220 N. Forest St. • Downtown Beliingham 360-734-8158 • www.communityfood.coop Open every day 8 a n i -9 pm , N S ^ Open 7 days a week 6 am-llpm LIVE MUSIC WEEKLY! Intfuding rock rolljazz, indie rock more: FreeWiFi ! t • t t • t See myspace.cora/baystreetmusic or www.bayslreetcoffee.cora for upcominy shows. § Free Coffee Live Music Bay Street Coffee House 1302 Bay SI. (downtown) 360-734-3868 ' One drip coffee coupon in Blue Book. MA Degrees: Systems Counseling; Consulting Coaching in Organizations Workshops: Leadership Communication Professional Interaction Taste of LIOS! Info Sessions: March 21 April 15 Workshops: Results-Focused Communications • March 27 InterAct • April 26-28 RSVP: lasteofLIOS@lios.org 425.939.8100 • www.Iios.org LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE at lUislvr I iiircnitv Where Leadership is a nay of beini ---------- Western Front 2006 March 10 - Page 13 ---------- FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 2006 • WESTERNFRONTONLINE.COM • PAGE 13 Beware, springtime skin drawing near Scheming Western women plan annual barrage, despite lingering cold weather BY ZACH KYLE True Enough Spring skin is coming. Every year, a stretch of spring sunshine beats back the Washington rain, and the women of Western come out from under their rocks to put on a show. Some master coordinator flips a switch broadcasting the disrobe beacon, sending all the girls running to their closets to rescue moth-balled halters, short skirts and spaghetti straps. Instantly gone are the winter hoodies we gents are accustomed to and the puffy jackets that are probably still appropriate for the mid- 50s temperature. Ladies, your tactics are underhanded and jarring. I understand your intent is to consume the Western guys in a tsunami of 7 understand your intent is to consume the Western guys in a tsunami of skin and confusion. You succeed wildly.' enjoy seeing us reduced to blind children bumbling mechanically and slack-jawed across campus like subjects in a government LSD experiment. You need to tone it down. Seriously. After three springs at Western, I've developed the ability to sense when springtime skin is drawing nigh. I'll walk out of class and slowly meander across campus. Something won't seem right, and I'll wonder if I'm forgetting an assignment or a family member's birthday. I'll walk, numb to the world and looking down when I notice the passing ankles. Then legs. I'll look up. Shoulders. Backs. Midriffs. —' Shell shock. I'll bump into a dumbfounded fellow with panicked and unfocusing eyes. I'll apologize with some unintelligible sound and careen into the 10- til-the-hour crowd like a weightless body floating into an asteroid field. I hope women understand how rough springtime skin is on us fellas. The first day hits so suddenly that we react with bewilderment rather than sexual attraction. I know you've been working out skin and confusion. You succeed wildly. You all winter to prepare for this day, but we can't look at you, at least not right away. We walk like mummies with tunnel vision just trying to get to point B, the skin cumulating in our peripheral vision. Our brains can't compute why the opposite sex would wear only half the clothing they donned a mere 24 hours ago. It doesn't make sense. Our reality crumbles. As detrimental as spring skin is to my mental stability, I must laud Western's women. Despite intense planning and anticipation of the event girls are remarkably close mouthed. Mum is the word, which is a miracle for that particular species. All week, I've asked women, "Is this me week? Has the time ] come?" and all responded with a completely believable look of disturbed confusion. One of; these years a man will find the. hidden entrance and expose your scheme. He will descend the stairs in the catacombs under Old Main and discover the Hall of Western Sisterhood. It must take a huge room to fit all 7,000 of you. He'll find the Masons-esque robes, and the calendars marking the day the first assault will take place. You will be exposed. I know the day is coming. My eyes and ears at Whatcom Community College report that spring skin is already kicking in. The women at Whatcom are less patient than those at Western, not to mention less tasteful. Historically, we can look at .Whatcom as a two-week warning for spring skin hitting Western's campus. I strongly encourage the Western Sisterhood leadership implement a staggered schedule for spring skin. This way, girls will take graduated steps toward summertime clothes, rather than the coat-to- tube top leapfrog that sends men reeling. I understand the pleasure you must derive from messing with us, but don't be cruel. We have classes to take care of. We have jobs. We have meals to remember to eat. Staggering spring skin is the humane thing to do. And besides, it's still fucking cold. E-mail Zach Kyle at tme_enoughcolumn@yahoo. com GOOD. BECAUSE DFI) milt K If Els DULL 13 LOOKING FOR A STUDENT BRAND MANAGER ON •Ta.fi out moire and td apply go to www.tedbulluxom or text the word SBM to 72855 02C .S*s$ BuliN« gt;«3» Am«i**,fe lt; AHr%ksr lt;»4fv«jd. NCAA II West Region w Women's Basketball Tournament Experience the excitement of basketball playoffs as the Western women put their 20-game win streak on the line. Get your tickets for the whole family and enjoy NCAA playoffs right here in Bellingham! Get your tickets now to ensure your seat! Phone 650-BLUE or purchase your tickets at the Campus Box Office. Reserved seats: $10; General Admission: $8; Students: $5. Tickets will be available at the door but don't wait until game time! SGHEBttf Haggen Court at Sam Carver Gymnasium FRIDAY, MARCH 10 12:30p.m. Camel 2:30 p.m. Game 2 5:30 p.m. Game 3 7:30 p.m. Game 4 #3 Cal State Bakersfield (23-4) vs. #6 Cat State LA. (20-7) #2 Chico State (24-3) vs. #7 Humboldt State (17-10) #4 UC San Diego (234) vs. #5 Seattle Pacific (22-5) #1 WWU (26-1) vs. #8 Northwest Nazarene (17-10) SATURDAY, MARCH 11 5:00 p.m. Game 5 Winner Game #1 vs. Winner Game #2 7:00 p.m. Game 6 Winner Game #3 vs. Winner Game #4 MONDAY, MARCH 13 7:00 p.m. Game 7 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME For tickets calf 6S0-BWE. Free shuttle from the Fairhaven College parking lot to the front door of Haggen Court at Carver Gyrrt. ---------- Western Front 2006 March 10 - Page 14 ---------- 14 • THE WESTERN FRONT OPINIONS MARCH 10,2006 Sudden Valley shouldn't be a city Sudden Valley community members applied for independent city status on Feb. 24 for the area eight miles east of Bellingham. The Whatcom County Council removed Sudden Valley from the county's urban growth area list on Feb. 28 to prevent it from pursuing city status. The prevention of Sudden Valley's application for city status was a smart move by the council. Sudden Valley, which is located on the west bank of Lake Whatcom, is listed as a Whatcom County recreation area and should remain that way. Sudden Valley becoming a city would raise the number of tourists and residents visiting and living in the area. More people moving in means an increase in the pollution of Lake Whatcom, which serves as a water source and recreation area to more than 86,000 county residents. Our county is polluted enough as it is. City status for Sudden Valley would increase the commercial and residential development around Lake Whatcom exponentially. The fact that they are not cities hasn't restricted the growth of the Sehdme and Fairhaven communities inside of Bellingham. In fact, these two communities within Bellingham have flourished for years. Why should we set apart Sudden Valley as its own city? We shouldn't. Sudden Valley is developed to the pomt of being a city. Destabilizing the Lake Whatcom watershed with further development will unnecessarily damagethe environment. Sudden Valley residents who want to see their tax dollars at work in their own neighborhoods rather than in the county, started the application for city status. If 75 percent of Sudden Valley citizens voted in favor of such a separation, then Sudden Valley has a right to pursue city status. However, Whatcom County shouldn't increase urban sprawl just because certain citizens want to distinguish themselves financially from the rest of the county. Whatcom County will always have certain neighborhoods that are more prosperous than others, but that's no reason to separate those areas into cities apart from the rest of the county. Frontlines are the opinion of The Western Front editorial board: Lauren Miller, AdrianaDunn, Bradley Thayer, Jacob Buckenmeyer, Amy Harder, Jared Yoakum, Ciara O'Rourke, Michael Lycklama, Susan Rosenberry, Andrew Irvine, Marissa Harshman, Dawn Chesbro, Aaron Apple, Loren Shane, Chris Taylor and Chris Huber. The Western Front Editor in Chief: Lauren Miller; Managing Editor: Adriana Dunn; Head Copy Editor: Bradley Thayer; Copy Editors: Jacob Buckenmeyer, Amy Harder; Photo Editor: Jared Yoakum; News Editors: Ciara O'Rourke, Michael Lycklama; Accent Editor: Susan Rosenberry; Features Editor: Andrew Irvine; Sports Editor: Marissa Harshman; Opinions Editor: Dawn Chesbro; Online Editor: Aaron Apple; Staff Photographer: Chris Huber, Chris Taylor; Columnist: Zach Kyle; Cartoonist: Aaron Cunningham; Adviser: John Harris; Business Manager: Alethea Macomber; Advertising Manager: Joel Hall Editor's note: The views expressed on The Western Front opinion pages are the views of the authors or cartoonists and are not necessarily the views of The Western Front staff, managers or adviser. And we quote: 'Its a myth to think I don't know what's going on. It's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there's opinions that don't agree with mine, because I'm fully aware of that." — George W. Bush, president Spring quarter columnist preview Being single is great liquor pros outweigh relationship cons BY LAUREN ALLAIN Forbidden Firuit Relationships are like tequila. At first glance, indulging seems like the best idea ever. As the shots progress they get sweeter and sweeter with the residuals of pure bliss. Until you have overindulged. In that situation you never want to touch, taste or see tequila ever again. Instead of tequila, I think of every shot as a minute-long dose of that significant other. That's my evolving definition of a relationship. My parents met in college so I've grown up assuming I would meet my match here, too. With only four quarters left until I graduate, I'm beginning to think my assumption was wrong. I've met some amazing men thus far, but it's been punctuated by meeting complete douches. The two seem to counteract one another. So here I am—a single girl with high expectations and no date. Most girls would be upset about this but I love it. Therefore, I've come up with a list of the top five reasons why I love being single. Number one: I don't have to shave. Men complain about shaving constantly, but the surface area they have to shave doesn't even equate to one calf for a woman. Shaving both legs takes approximately seven minutes, and when I'm in the shower every morning before class at 9 a.m., losing those seven minutes isn't worth it. That time is dedicated to cereal. When I think about it, no one is going to see my legs anyway, except for that creepy old guy who stops to give me a thumbs-up while I'm running past him. In that instance I'm glad my legs look repulsive. Number two: I have the pleasure of sprawling out on my bed. Ever since I was young, I've been a picky sleeper. I used to make my parents come pick me up and take me home from sleepovers when everyone went to bed because I wanted to sleep in my own bed. My bed is mine. I picked the mattress, the sheets and the number of pillows, and I alone will enjoy it. Nothing compares to the frustration that ensues when I wake up to realize my partner is in a spread- eagle pose in the middle of the bed leaving me with a sliver, which is just enough room to keep one leg and half an arm on the ——=——= bed. Perfect. Number three: No one is there to control single means that I never have to awkwardly tell my friend/family/ prospective boyfriends that I'm available again. Informing others of a breakup has always baffled me. Am I supposed to send out a mass e-mail titled, "Oops. That didn't work out as planned"? _ Changing the relationship status on Myspace and Facebook is equally awkward. How soon is too soon to change it? Is it too hasty to do it within hours of the breakup? I don't want the ex to think I'm wishing I was still in the relationship, but I don't want him to think I'm stoked to be ———————-—=——— out of it. Either way, 7 will never under- once I change it, my me. stand the way a male Pr o f i l e fows U P ^ v . - . i recently updated. brain junctions when I've never dated dealing with women, anyone who attempted and trying to figure it out is like trying to figure out why men have nipples.' to control me, but I have experience with the ones who constantly like to give suggestions about — everything. From what chips to buy at the store to what classes I should take, he had a suggestion for everything. At least he wasn't indecisive, but I'm capable of picking my own chips, thanks. I can also decide when I'm going to eat those chips, when I'm going to do my homework and when I'm going to sleep. Some nights I call it quits at 10 p.m. while other days I stay up until 4 a.m. Having to incorporate someone else's schedule into my lack of a daily schedule is typically not worth it. I start to feel claustrophobic if someone else crushes me, specifically by having to follow his schedule. I have several friends who work at UPS beginning at 3 a.m., and I'm convinced I should date one of them because once they leave for work I can go to bed—alone. Number four: Constantly being So friend's read it and think, "Wow. She's single again. I wonder which one of them fucked it up." And men the questions begin, which is why I think the mass e-mail is the best option. Number five: Relationships are generally not worth the hassle. So far I haven't had one that was worth the time, money and eventual tears. I will never understand the way a male brain functions when dealing with women, and trying to figure it out is like trying to figure out why men have nipples; It's just not worth the effort, and the end result typically means nothing. Having said all this I'll add that all five rules become void when I find the right guy. For now I'm staying attached — to tequila — because it never complains when I fail to call, it doesn't care if I chose to spend the night with its friend rum and most importantly it never sleeps in the middle of the bed. Gosh, I hope my parents don?t read this. E-mail Lauren Allain at forbiddenfruitcolumn@yahoo.com ---------- Western Front 2006 March 10 - Page 15 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 OPINIONS THE WESTERN FRONTS * 15 iking oices *• Going tdjjfasjBppi to do cleanup worpfrom Hurricane Katrina. I'm goi( Seattle tqjeej and a shopping spree in Canada. What are your plans for spring break? ^ m J J Q I , , , ^ Compiled by stacie Erfie Junior, marketing Emily Kwong Freshman, community health I'm goinjjk Ic^fk poolsideinJSantJ Monica and shop my Heart out. Stephanie Sullivan Freshman, journalism CASA WANTS YOU TO KNOW Western's Sexual Misconduct Policy It is the policy of Western Washington University to provide an environment in which students, staff, and faculty can work, live and study free from all types of sexual misconduct. "The range of sexual misconduct includes sexual harassment, sexual intimidation, sexual coercion, sexual assault, and rape. The University will act to prevent and eliminate such behavior. Individuals who engage in. such behavior will be subject to sanctions, including written reprimand, suspension, or expulsion. WWU is committed to a comprehensive educational program to promote awareness and prevent the fall range of sexual misconduct. WWU provides a range of services to students, faculty, and staff who have experienced sexual misconduct. Contact CASAS at 6S0-3700 for information on available resources such as counseling, support groups, case management, legal and medical advocacy, academic support, and reporting options/Ibis is a confidential service available 24 hours a day. UJ J; •'tic-' Vjp CASAS Crime And Sexual Assault Support Services This ad was supported by Grant No. 2005- WA-AX-0008 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, iuidings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this ad are those of the author and lt;lo not necessarily reflect.the views of the U.S. Department of Justice. WE SEE A FUTURE W IT FOR YOU. A career in clinical psychology and a doctoral degree from George Fox University. 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ALASKA SUMMER jobs info application @ : www. denalijobs.com. SUMMER JOB? Hiring fulltime managers painters $8-10/hr+ bonuses ho exp necessary jobs in WA, ID, ~ OR apply @888- 277-9877 or www. collegepro.com ! BARTENDERS WANTED! Up to $300/day. Noexp needed. Training provided 1-800-965- 6520 ext; 237 S^^MflfeSs lsiE TEACH ENVIRONMENTAL ^d in beautifiil ^ S.Puget Sound. $200/week DOE + housing. 253-884- 3844orahale@ cs.seattleymca.org. AWOl \ ( 'KM FATS NON-RELIGIOUS SPIRITUALITY, www. uniquest.name ---------- Western Front 2006 March 10 - Page 16 ---------- MARCH 10,2006 THE WESTERN FRONT • 16 "l^^^^iii^^Sl [|lilMllM«;MMlMilIl •h%fes Sehome Village 647-000 PPPPP
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